Category Archives: Random Thoughts

The ladies in your life.

We’re all women. Don’t you just love us?

No matter the nationality, age, experience, or status. And by status I mean the labels the men in our lives give us: Wife, Sugar Baby, Escort. Our main objective in life is the same: to establish security, safety and comfort. No matter who we are to you, you may as well leave your ‘wallet’ on the table.

We can’t help ourselves, we’re just cute. Our waking up this morning was not a ploy to ensnare you with our feminine wiles. Although there are some exceptions to this. What you feel for me when you see me sashay past you, all my assets moving like a symphony, when we make eye contact and exchange smiles, is nature. Just go with it. I don’t bite. Well, I don’t bite hard. Well I do, but just not all the time…

Yes, you all pay. Maybe for your ego’s sake you prefer to not see it that way, and would rather fancy yourself a stud. Your SugarBaby is young and doesn’t feel right when you buy her Coach bags. You have to make her let you pay her light bill. She’s a good girl. She doesn’t view what you’re doing as the same thing you do with all women: winning her affections. She’s different. And faithful. O_o But the minute she sees less of your money, you’ll be seeing less of her.

Your wife benefits both financially, and more importantly, emotionally from your commitment. Neither the Sugar Baby nor the Escort have this with you. Sometimes a wife may know you’re promiscuous. But as long as she knows you love her, and you operate with a MODICUM of respect, it can be worked out or overlooked. Sometimes, the minute you slip on either your financial or emotional commitment, you’ve got a separation or divorce on your hands.

You may be at the opposite end of the spectrum and would consider yourself a realist, and figure you’re overpaying regardless of the payout. When it comes to women you’d rather not make any commitments unless you can predict the outcome. You find solace in Escorts and Sugar Babies, and occasionally find someone you connect with. She gives you a little hope. She didn’t accept your invitation for dinner off the clock, so she’s just solidified your assessment of women.

Whatever form of currency you fork over in our securities exchange, whether it’s your money or your heart, should be rendered willingly, with the understanding that there’s no refunds or exchanges.

I’m not saying there aren’t treacherous bitches you should be looking out for, but I guarantee you they aren’t all escorts. Even if you run into an escort that just wants the money, at least she’s honest. Some of your wives are the biggest ‘hookers’ there are. Everything she did or said was a calculated step to get you to the alter. And please don’t think that young girl who can’t take you home to her mom, or otherwise have a life with you is so innocent. She enjoys that hunt as much as you do.

Remember fellas. You get out of a situation what you put into it. You seek to take advantage, please be prepared to be taken advantage of. Seeking out good people in life leads to good times. No matter what a woman’s label is, always find yourself being kind to her. You’ll be surprised at how far your currency gets you when you’re nice.

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August 14, 2013 · 1:10 AM

The P4P Party

I explained the concept of P4P being like a party to a friend of mine just recently in order to put things in perspective for her. She was having one of those moments where she wants to “appeal to gentlemen with discriminating tastes”. But trying to get her to understand that person can be anybody it just came out this way. Of course as people we can be judgmental, and we want to be associated with the best. But not every Rolex-wearing stud is your dream client. Be good to whomever is good to you. Just like in real life, when you walk into a party you’re either searching for where you belong, or you’re blazing your own path.

Let’s start with the men.

Jocks and jerks. You know, the ones wearing those reeaally tight shirts that show off their pectorals and drinking beer standing on their head. His understanding is he’s the prize. He’s got the money, and can make or break a lady’s career by writing a review on the men’s room wall. He can definitely get what he wants. When you walk in the room, they’re right by the door hounding you with “are you available now?” “do you  give review discounts?” “are you seriously asking me for screening information?” and “you got GPS, don’t you?” Of course you smile and keep walking, because there’s no real reason to be mean. Boys will be boys. Because sometimes, when you’re in line waiting on some bum bitch to stop sucking dick in the bathroom, one of these guys will come correct, and does what it takes to get your number.

The Cool guys. They’re  by the bar in a sports jacket with patches on the elbows, gesturing the bartender for another scotch and water. They talk about their investment portfolios, and current events, and have all the in’s in the market. He loves pulling out his P411 Card, making the ladies swoon. He’s got “standards” when it comes to his women. As long as they have a fresh pair of man made’s and bleach blonde hair. Or is a hot la-ti-na spinner. That’s who he’ll brag to his friends about. But secretly, he’s a bit more open-minded. But mum’s the word on that.

The Lurker. He’s the quiet one leaning against the wall. He doesn’t fit in with the jocks. They’re a bit too rowdy. Who wants to sit around holding their cocks talking about how he’d rather screw 10 Ratchet hoes for 100 bucks than give it to one chick at one time? Then he’s not one to discuss his business with anyone. He doesn’t need to justify his actions to the cool guys. He finds women of all size, ages, and races attractive. He doesn’t need their lectures on what class is. He’s observant, and doesn’t rely on the opinions of others to make decisions. He’s the guy who gently touches your hand as you pass him, introduces himself and asks to buy you a drink. You would gladly let him take you away from the party to get to know each other outside on the terrace. He’s so considerate! He listens (reads your website), and he puts his jacket around you if you’re cold, and asks you if you’re okay to drive when the party is over. Meeting him tonight made it worth it to come out.

Now for the ladies.

The Ratchets. They’re drunk, twerking in the middle of the dance floor in a short skirt and no drawers or romancing herself in the mirror on the wall, and giving BJ’s in the bathroom for chump change. This group is comprised equally of the young and dumb and the old fool. One by one they take the Jocks and Jerks into the bathrooms for BnG’s so he can write her name on the wall in the men’s room. She knows the more guys write her name on the wall the more guys will want her to ‘back it up’ on them and buy her drinks.

Sadiddy Bitches. They come in, and they’re eying the cool guys. They can smell the money wafting in the Hermes cologne.  They’re turning up their noses at the Ratchet girls on the dance floor. Not because they think they’re disgusting, but the fact that they are hogging the attention of all the guys, and they can’t do the splits and get the attention on themselves. So they resort to rubbing their new breasts on the arms of the Cool guys to get them buying drinks. Works like a charm. While he mentions the funds that he’s contributing to for his retirements, she mentions the Gerber life plan that’s matured  since she turned 21. Or she shows him the Gucci bag that she bought in lieu of paying the rent. He instantly wonders what self-depreciating act she would perform to get her rent payed.

The Smart and Classy. They walk in the party, and the Jocks, sensing her confidence and stability, simultaneously look at each other thinking “GPS”. But to their amazement, she greets them like the potential clients they are. She can actually carry on a decent conversation with the Cool guys about global markets, and buys a round of drinks for the guys. This sends mixed signals through the group. Some guys like the fact that she’s generous and smart. But she’s generally unimpressed with the stuff that normally sends a Sadiddy bitch to her knees. That leaves some unsure if they even have a chance. But she’s a sweetheart, and hints that she will treat him how he treats her.

Of course, this is an over generalization of personalities, and meant to be comical. But when trying to make changes in your Modus Operandi, it’s best to stay accessible. My advice to her was never to stereotype her clients, and  know there are exceptions to every rule. We both know men who could pay any rate, but choose to visit with ratchet hoes because of his thought process about his own needs, and the way he feels about paying over a certain price. I personally know gents who will only meet with me if we can take the most luxurious vacations together, so we meet only twice a year.

I welcome the open-minded, and do my best to not prejudge the type of company a man seeks. I understand it’s all about variety. As long as he does what it takes to meet me, and makes me comfortable with getting to know him, I treat everyone the same.

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Gentlemen: Is sex a performance for you?

You know, a lot can be said on how a man describes his sexual encounters with women. And I’ve read an article that has the two sides of my femininity at odds.

I’m of the belief that there are some men, both naturally and for some due to emotional and self esteem issues that some men aren’t meant to be in relationships, are naturally submissive or better suited in Female Led relationships. That’s just the truth. Not everyone can be or wants to be that kind of guy that just knows how to ‘handle’ women. And while I’m sure they’re not in short supply, I don’t want to take this man’s thoughts and make them every man’s.

He says that sex is like a performance, with him expected to be Dominant and to get his partner in the mood. He’s expected to provide her with an orgasm with his penis (which we know is unattainable for some women) before he get’s his. He worries that his loss of erection during sex would be misconstrued as loss of interest, and that maintaining an erection is not often the easiest thing to do. Failing to do so makes him feel like a failure. He finishes by saying:

“It’s not to say that sex isn’t enjoyable. It is very much so. But it’s not enjoyable in the same way that masturbation is, where there is no pressure in any way, just relaxation and enjoyment. This is also one of the reasons that many guys often love blowjobs to completion. It’s nice to have a partnered sexual situation where there is absolutely no pressure on you.”

Like I said I’m very in touch with the duality in my femininity. The more loving Companion side of me sympathizes with this man, and wants to show him how to let go of his obvious insecurities, and just make love to him. Being able to orgasm vaginally, he would get the prize of feeling my body acquiesce to his member. He deserves to not think about his physical limitations, and know that it’s okay, and we’re both getting pleasure from the experience.

My Dominant side, however, is not so lenient. She wants to shackle him down to a fucking machine while he watches her make all the wrong moves with his WoW characters. She wonders why he would have such an issue with pursuing a woman? Why wouldn’t he want to woo her to ‘do’ her? It seems like being released from the pressure of ‘being the man’ would help him to feel better about sex in general. Pssh. Sounds like a sub to me.

I understand that some men just don’t want to have anything to do with a woman unless he’s horny. I get it. I’m here for you. The problem is that these guys have married women who are just glorified maids and baby makers, and these women expect more from the relationship. He couldn’t give two shits about how she feels or what she’s talking about. He puts little to no effort in making her feel wanted, and wonder why he can’t get sex at home. She surprises him with an impromptu BJ, and he rewards her by turning over and going to sleep. He can’t help it. It’s his nature.

As a woman, a Companion and a Domina, it’s my honor to embrace you just the way you are. The only thing our relationship requires is willingness and a proper introduction. But just like any woman, I love being pursued, and wooed. Let me know what you need from me. I love being that non-judgmental zone where a man can explore,  discover and be real with himself.

 

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On Culture and Class…

I’m an African American woman.

My body is naturally thick and muscular. My nose has a unique but complimentary shape.

I didn’t have a child as a minor.

I am not quick to anger, and I think before I speak or act.

I was in the top 25% of both my high school and college graduating classes. BOTH times.

The way my body moves when I walk, dance or make love has been described as the eighth wonder. Not many cultures move the way Black women do.

I believe that people are just people, and every culture has their good and bad. And it’s the SAME good and bad because we’re all human. No one culture isn’t susceptible to a form of negative behavior. This is what makes stereotyping certain behaviors with certain cultures so wrong. A gentleman mentioned that in his observations, he judged women by cultures based on the way they danced. He noticed in some cultures, namely African cultures, our dance was based on raw vulgarity, and not skill while other races were just classy. In studying other cultures, dance was not an indication of classiness. Every race on earth has killed their own kind, has their poor, stupid, and criminals. So in these modern post-Civil Rights era times, why are we still categorizing negative HUMAN behavior with normal Black people behavior?

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Your business is not my business.

This is meant to be an informational post and a mini-rant.

My services are based on who I am, and not who my clients are. I post my pictures and write an informative bio so that you know what you can expect. Subsequently, like minded individuals are drawn to me. My rates are based on what I feel is reasonable for the type of service I offer and my availability.

I have learned to use certain tools to monitor and change my business according to certain statistics. When my numbers start to drop for whatever reason (and I know what those reasons are), I have learned what to do to bring them back up again. When I want to try something new, I do. I like the results, I stick with it and know that it’s an option. If I don’t, I nix it and try something else.

Like ALL companions, I am someone’s ATF, and I know why. And I promise I won’t change a thing.

Until a gent contacts me, how he spends his money has absolutely nothing to do with me. Knowing that information would never help me be successful as a companion.

When I become worth it to you, I’ll hear from you.

Because I learned all this doing research on my own and through my knowledge of real life business marketing,  I know the difference  between those that know what they’re talking about and those that don’t. I don’t like it when people who have never been a successful companion or has no business knowledge at all tries to sell this information to those who ALSO know nothing about the business. You can fool some people by talking slick, but you’re not going to fool everyone.

The “marketing consultant” of the week uses Wix to build websites, has at least 10 grammatical errors on her website, and creates threADs on the boards with Jotform surveys asking clients how they spend their money on company. From her posts, she apparently has comprehension issues, and she admittedly started the survey to ‘gather information’ to help her clients. If you’re still gathering information, or are not abreast of NORMAL market fluctuations that affect spending in any luxury market, you have no business in business.

My prediction is after these ladies spend the money to have this woman teach them how to market themselves, they will still be in the blind. What I have learned is that what makes a companion successful is dependent on who she is and her capacity to make the necessary changes that will keep her that way. If she doesn’t know how to change or when, no amount of lowering her rates because some bad cross-section of data says she’s expensive will make things better. Alternatively, if that same data says she’s too cheap, raising her prices without some justification will not help either. Doing what makes other ladies an ATF won’t help her, and will only make her services seem more contrived. Knowing whether you’re married or single won’t help her.

That’s no one’s business but yours. If it will help her be a better companion, please explain why. I am definitely open to admitting I’m wrong.

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Schooool’s Out For Su-mmer! LOL!

YEAH!

Now I can breathe a sigh of relief. This semester was challenging, and in order for me not to be half-assed about school AND my other priorities, my availability has greatly suffered. But no more! Now that I’m officially an A student, and I will NOT be going to summer school, I am really home free guys. More travel, both around the Dallas area and far-off destinations is on the horizon for the next couple of months. I would love it if we meet!

I really want to cut loose, so if anyone wants to take me partying, on a trip, or give me treats for being such a good girl, I’ll show you my report card. I’m not ashamed to say I really deserve it. And those of you that know me well enough to know how I multitask, I look forward to seeing you soon!

I’m going to take a couple of weeks to stay at home and de-stress first and make plans, so I welcome any input that may influence my plans. You know where the happenin’s are? Let me know! I am soo out of touch these days. In the meantime, if you’re visiting Dallas, or the surrounding area, my wonderfully underused Incall is available. Feel free to reach out in touch me, in the worst way!

Kiss kiss!

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Your happiness or mine?

Why not both?

I read a statement from a gentleman concerning the money he pays a companion. The money goes toward his happiness, not hers. He doesn’t pay her more money to put a smile on her face. But my argument is, unless you’re slightly masochistic, how can she make you happy without a smile on her face? I’m not endorsing paying a woman more than what you’re willing, but negotiating usually isn’t the best way of getting the best out of a lady.

Whatever a lady’s price tag, it makes her happy. What you have to ascertain is if she can make you happy for the price.

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Black coffee, no sugar, no cream…

Black coffee the African queen
Part of the Afro-American dream
Enough respect I’m diggin’ intellect
Appreciate the fact that you never miss a step
The backbone of the black bone here’s to ya
As long as I’m around believe me none could ever do ya
You warm considerate and far from a softie
And that’s why I love ya you’re my black coffee
 

Heavy D died this week. So I went through my iPod looking for his music, and I found this gem. I will be the first to admit that it’s been a long time since there has been positive music about Black women (no, that role-reversing crap about Miss Independent does not count. I’ll share my thoughts about that at another time.). I remember being a young woman and this was the image of Black I wanted to be. In fact all of his music was very inspirational to me as a woman. He had songs that let you know what kind of woman not to be, and songs about the type of women that men treasure. And that Black women CAN be treasured. Who knew?

I remember when his music was popular, and at this time in my life, I was oblivious to the prejudices of this world. I felt (and still do) good about being an intelligent woman of Color. I thought my possibilities were endless if I stayed in school and out of trouble. I tell you, it has held true, and I have had some wonderful experiences. My color has yet to hold me back in my real life.

What I will say is that as a companion, I know that I’m not looked upon favorably by all. If it’s not my color, my build, or my obvious Black girl features, it’s the assumptions and stereotypes that I have successfully avoided that people believe regardless of not knowing me personally. I realize that my client base as a whole will be divided unequally between men who actually love Black women, and those who are curious about Black women. Yes, I welcome the curious. I love disspelling the myths about Black people.

My take on stereotypes is this: there are an equal percentage of ignorant people in every race. Anyone who thought that Blacks were alone in the Stupid Pool obviously haven’t seen the Wild and Wonderful Whites documentary. I can’t look at that documentary or the White people I encountered in the small corner of the earth I crawled out from and think that all of them are that way.

Like I have said, I don’t give much thought to why men don’t see me. All I can do is focus on being the best for those who do choose to see me, and pray that the cycle of ignorance ends soon.

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I can’t be your pimp.

Things are bad. Ladies are hurting. Where do they turn? You guessed it, the adult industry. The streets are flooded with wannabe strippers, cam girls, and prossies. They often ask for help on the boards and it’s OBVIOUS that they haven’t done anything but take a few cute pics and put up an ad. Very few people realize that anything worth doing well is worth studying. What are the requirements of the job? First, you have to be internet savvy.  If you can’t spell, type, open an email, you’re off to a bad start. REAL bad. Secondly, you have to have a modicum of business skills. If you don’t know who your target audience is, or how to reach them, you’re still not out of the gate. You can say ALL day in your ads that you’re upscale, and you may VERY WELL look like a model, but if you offer $50 BnG’s, don’t have at least an intermediate grasp of the English language, where you have to keep asking people if they know what you’re saying, you’re not fooling anyone.

Well, what should you do? Starve to death? NO. You should use your downtime to educate yourself. Yes, you have to educate yourself to be a hooktard. Who knew? I know, you thought cause you were pretty things would work out better, but you didn’t anticipate the other pretty girls who also know how to do their jobs, did you?

I can’t be your marketing manager, scheduler, screener, and image consultant. If I started charging bitches for my services, what would that make me?

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Why I do what I do how I do it.

The motivation for this post comes from a lot of different sources: twitter, various ho boards, and the news. There is lots of talk about Black women, Black women across the adult industry, poor people, escaping poverty, approaches to the adult industry from the standpoint of Black women, negative stereotypes toward Black women in the adult industry, and equality in sex work. All of these topics kind of run together for me.

I don’t think I’ve failed to mention that I come from very humble beginnings. I seen a lot of what I didn’t want in my life as a kid and was intrigued by the things that were missing (Blame it on the Cosby’s). I was just different from everybody. I’ve made different choices from everybody. Now I’m a healthy, happy 34 year old Black woman with a career, a growing business (a legitimate one), a happy healthy kid I didn’t have in my teens, and great outlets for my sexual and artistic interests.

I guess I’m what you would call the American AND African American dream. I should be a republican right now, but my understanding of the poor makes me feel differently about the ideals of Republicans. (I’m classified as more of a Centerist) I have been so blessed that I don’t mind paying taxes. In fact, it’s one of the things for which I am grateful. I understand the purpose of taxes, but don’t condone their blatant misuse. I would love it if someone was actively changing the public education system, or making sure non-profits designed to help the poor do better and see better things were actually doing their job. I know ladies who live for tax time, as it’s the most money they see at one time all year long.

In so many ways, my thought process is straddled across this fence between where I come from and where I am, hence my approach to being a companion. I’ve been talking to a few ladies from different backgrounds in this industry, and the thought was I should raise my rates, and cater to more “upscale” clientele. I love being available to have and offer the “upscale” experiences I do, and it hasn’t been with the richest or most “upscale” clients, which I think classifying men in this way is a load of baloney. I think men will spend their money on what they want no matter what the cost. I go away twice a month for the weekend, and one of these men has to save up for the experience. The gents I have CHOSEN to spend time with over the course of 6 years have all been respectful, both of my time and my price point, which make them such a pleasure to be around. Most likely I will raise either my hourly minimum or my rates in the future, but it won’t be because I’m trying to exclude any group of people. Being a companion for me is about my comfort level, and those who seek my company. I am NOT trying to have the perceived value discussion so I will stop here.

I know the difference between having high self esteem and being an elitist.  I’ve experienced some of the best things life can offer, and life is pretty good right now for me, but it makes me no better than anyone else. I have a pretty high opinion of myself, but I don’t let that affect how I treat others. I have learned to pick my associates better, and I stay away from negativity no matter what side of the fence it comes from. I have never judged a book by its cover (or the lack thereof), because the beat up ones always make the best read.

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