Category Archives: Courtesan in bloom

The P4P Party

I explained the concept of P4P being like a party to a friend of mine just recently in order to put things in perspective for her. She was having one of those moments where she wants to “appeal to gentlemen with discriminating tastes”. But trying to get her to understand that person can be anybody it just came out this way. Of course as people we can be judgmental, and we want to be associated with the best. But not every Rolex-wearing stud is your dream client. Be good to whomever is good to you. Just like in real life, when you walk into a party you’re either searching for where you belong, or you’re blazing your own path.

Let’s start with the men.

Jocks and jerks. You know, the ones wearing those reeaally tight shirts that show off their pectorals and drinking beer standing on their head. His understanding is he’s the prize. He’s got the money, and can make or break a lady’s career by writing a review on the men’s room wall. He can definitely get what he wants. When you walk in the room, they’re right by the door hounding you with “are you available now?” “do you  give review discounts?” “are you seriously asking me for screening information?” and “you got GPS, don’t you?” Of course you smile and keep walking, because there’s no real reason to be mean. Boys will be boys. Because sometimes, when you’re in line waiting on some bum bitch to stop sucking dick in the bathroom, one of these guys will come correct, and does what it takes to get your number.

The Cool guys. They’re  by the bar in a sports jacket with patches on the elbows, gesturing the bartender for another scotch and water. They talk about their investment portfolios, and current events, and have all the in’s in the market. He loves pulling out his P411 Card, making the ladies swoon. He’s got “standards” when it comes to his women. As long as they have a fresh pair of man made’s and bleach blonde hair. Or is a hot la-ti-na spinner. That’s who he’ll brag to his friends about. But secretly, he’s a bit more open-minded. But mum’s the word on that.

The Lurker. He’s the quiet one leaning against the wall. He doesn’t fit in with the jocks. They’re a bit too rowdy. Who wants to sit around holding their cocks talking about how he’d rather screw 10 Ratchet hoes for 100 bucks than give it to one chick at one time? Then he’s not one to discuss his business with anyone. He doesn’t need to justify his actions to the cool guys. He finds women of all size, ages, and races attractive. He doesn’t need their lectures on what class is. He’s observant, and doesn’t rely on the opinions of others to make decisions. He’s the guy who gently touches your hand as you pass him, introduces himself and asks to buy you a drink. You would gladly let him take you away from the party to get to know each other outside on the terrace. He’s so considerate! He listens (reads your website), and he puts his jacket around you if you’re cold, and asks you if you’re okay to drive when the party is over. Meeting him tonight made it worth it to come out.

Now for the ladies.

The Ratchets. They’re drunk, twerking in the middle of the dance floor in a short skirt and no drawers or romancing herself in the mirror on the wall, and giving BJ’s in the bathroom for chump change. This group is comprised equally of the young and dumb and the old fool. One by one they take the Jocks and Jerks into the bathrooms for BnG’s so he can write her name on the wall in the men’s room. She knows the more guys write her name on the wall the more guys will want her to ‘back it up’ on them and buy her drinks.

Sadiddy Bitches. They come in, and they’re eying the cool guys. They can smell the money wafting in the Hermes cologne.  They’re turning up their noses at the Ratchet girls on the dance floor. Not because they think they’re disgusting, but the fact that they are hogging the attention of all the guys, and they can’t do the splits and get the attention on themselves. So they resort to rubbing their new breasts on the arms of the Cool guys to get them buying drinks. Works like a charm. While he mentions the funds that he’s contributing to for his retirements, she mentions the Gerber life plan that’s matured  since she turned 21. Or she shows him the Gucci bag that she bought in lieu of paying the rent. He instantly wonders what self-depreciating act she would perform to get her rent payed.

The Smart and Classy. They walk in the party, and the Jocks, sensing her confidence and stability, simultaneously look at each other thinking “GPS”. But to their amazement, she greets them like the potential clients they are. She can actually carry on a decent conversation with the Cool guys about global markets, and buys a round of drinks for the guys. This sends mixed signals through the group. Some guys like the fact that she’s generous and smart. But she’s generally unimpressed with the stuff that normally sends a Sadiddy bitch to her knees. That leaves some unsure if they even have a chance. But she’s a sweetheart, and hints that she will treat him how he treats her.

Of course, this is an over generalization of personalities, and meant to be comical. But when trying to make changes in your Modus Operandi, it’s best to stay accessible. My advice to her was never to stereotype her clients, and  know there are exceptions to every rule. We both know men who could pay any rate, but choose to visit with ratchet hoes because of his thought process about his own needs, and the way he feels about paying over a certain price. I personally know gents who will only meet with me if we can take the most luxurious vacations together, so we meet only twice a year.

I welcome the open-minded, and do my best to not prejudge the type of company a man seeks. I understand it’s all about variety. As long as he does what it takes to meet me, and makes me comfortable with getting to know him, I treat everyone the same.

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Gentlemen: Is sex a performance for you?

You know, a lot can be said on how a man describes his sexual encounters with women. And I’ve read an article that has the two sides of my femininity at odds.

I’m of the belief that there are some men, both naturally and for some due to emotional and self esteem issues that some men aren’t meant to be in relationships, are naturally submissive or better suited in Female Led relationships. That’s just the truth. Not everyone can be or wants to be that kind of guy that just knows how to ‘handle’ women. And while I’m sure they’re not in short supply, I don’t want to take this man’s thoughts and make them every man’s.

He says that sex is like a performance, with him expected to be Dominant and to get his partner in the mood. He’s expected to provide her with an orgasm with his penis (which we know is unattainable for some women) before he get’s his. He worries that his loss of erection during sex would be misconstrued as loss of interest, and that maintaining an erection is not often the easiest thing to do. Failing to do so makes him feel like a failure. He finishes by saying:

“It’s not to say that sex isn’t enjoyable. It is very much so. But it’s not enjoyable in the same way that masturbation is, where there is no pressure in any way, just relaxation and enjoyment. This is also one of the reasons that many guys often love blowjobs to completion. It’s nice to have a partnered sexual situation where there is absolutely no pressure on you.”

Like I said I’m very in touch with the duality in my femininity. The more loving Companion side of me sympathizes with this man, and wants to show him how to let go of his obvious insecurities, and just make love to him. Being able to orgasm vaginally, he would get the prize of feeling my body acquiesce to his member. He deserves to not think about his physical limitations, and know that it’s okay, and we’re both getting pleasure from the experience.

My Dominant side, however, is not so lenient. She wants to shackle him down to a fucking machine while he watches her make all the wrong moves with his WoW characters. She wonders why he would have such an issue with pursuing a woman? Why wouldn’t he want to woo her to ‘do’ her? It seems like being released from the pressure of ‘being the man’ would help him to feel better about sex in general. Pssh. Sounds like a sub to me.

I understand that some men just don’t want to have anything to do with a woman unless he’s horny. I get it. I’m here for you. The problem is that these guys have married women who are just glorified maids and baby makers, and these women expect more from the relationship. He couldn’t give two shits about how she feels or what she’s talking about. He puts little to no effort in making her feel wanted, and wonder why he can’t get sex at home. She surprises him with an impromptu BJ, and he rewards her by turning over and going to sleep. He can’t help it. It’s his nature.

As a woman, a Companion and a Domina, it’s my honor to embrace you just the way you are. The only thing our relationship requires is willingness and a proper introduction. But just like any woman, I love being pursued, and wooed. Let me know what you need from me. I love being that non-judgmental zone where a man can explore,  discover and be real with himself.

 

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2010 Calais Cuvee du Canton Syrah

He’s tall, lean, good-looking. And he knows it.  Despite the near-constant smirk on his face cluing you in to his confidence, his attitude is humble. He’s come a long way, and has admitted to deep-rooted asshole ways, which makes him that much more fun. His cool demeanor and mellow voice make him very easy to listen to, and I find myself getting closer and closer with every time he makes me laugh.

The wine is local, and surprisingly good. I loved the long dark berry finish, just as I loved his lengthy kisses. And other parts. We discussed the nature of our connection, as we lay sweaty and unable to keep our hands off each other. It’s the nature of things for us. Indulge, enjoy, and take our leave.  Tonight was my turn.

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Your business is not my business.

This is meant to be an informational post and a mini-rant.

My services are based on who I am, and not who my clients are. I post my pictures and write an informative bio so that you know what you can expect. Subsequently, like minded individuals are drawn to me. My rates are based on what I feel is reasonable for the type of service I offer and my availability.

I have learned to use certain tools to monitor and change my business according to certain statistics. When my numbers start to drop for whatever reason (and I know what those reasons are), I have learned what to do to bring them back up again. When I want to try something new, I do. I like the results, I stick with it and know that it’s an option. If I don’t, I nix it and try something else.

Like ALL companions, I am someone’s ATF, and I know why. And I promise I won’t change a thing.

Until a gent contacts me, how he spends his money has absolutely nothing to do with me. Knowing that information would never help me be successful as a companion.

When I become worth it to you, I’ll hear from you.

Because I learned all this doing research on my own and through my knowledge of real life business marketing,  I know the difference  between those that know what they’re talking about and those that don’t. I don’t like it when people who have never been a successful companion or has no business knowledge at all tries to sell this information to those who ALSO know nothing about the business. You can fool some people by talking slick, but you’re not going to fool everyone.

The “marketing consultant” of the week uses Wix to build websites, has at least 10 grammatical errors on her website, and creates threADs on the boards with Jotform surveys asking clients how they spend their money on company. From her posts, she apparently has comprehension issues, and she admittedly started the survey to ‘gather information’ to help her clients. If you’re still gathering information, or are not abreast of NORMAL market fluctuations that affect spending in any luxury market, you have no business in business.

My prediction is after these ladies spend the money to have this woman teach them how to market themselves, they will still be in the blind. What I have learned is that what makes a companion successful is dependent on who she is and her capacity to make the necessary changes that will keep her that way. If she doesn’t know how to change or when, no amount of lowering her rates because some bad cross-section of data says she’s expensive will make things better. Alternatively, if that same data says she’s too cheap, raising her prices without some justification will not help either. Doing what makes other ladies an ATF won’t help her, and will only make her services seem more contrived. Knowing whether you’re married or single won’t help her.

That’s no one’s business but yours. If it will help her be a better companion, please explain why. I am definitely open to admitting I’m wrong.

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The few, the proud…

Am I supposed to get MSOG or should it at least be attempted in one hour?

She left way before time was up. I thought that was normal.

Incall was just a mattress on the floor…

When I came out of the bathroom, she and my wallet were gone…

What can we do in two hours? I’m a one-and-done kind of guy.

She asked me to co-sign for a car.

She said she was 25, but she was obviously 45.

If any of these statements sound familiar to you, or have ever parted your lips, or your fingers have ever typed something similar, I feel for you. I want you to know that this isn’t all the industry consists of, and there is better out there.

You may feel like, ‘well, I get what I pay for.’ And in some cases, you may be right. Doing things the right way will always require a level of overhead, and it will reflect in their rates and offerings. But there are wonderfully intelligent and open-minded women at all price points; you’ve just got to do your homework to find them.

Seeing these threads make me realize that no matter how we as ladies decide to conduct our business, drama-free companions are a rarity.  There are benefits to being a drama-free companion, and here’s how you notice them on the review boards:

1. We enjoy our job. On the whole, there’s little to no burnout, and burnout-related rants and retirements and sabbaticals. Some will have come and gone before you will have had an opportunity to enjoy our company. I hate it when I read a post that starts with ‘don’t you hate it when…’ and I can’t relate. No one way is perfect, but there are definite ways to reduce stress, the risks of bad encounters, NCNS and ripoffs.

2. Wonderful clients. We don’t let the men we will not see ruin our perception of the freedom being a companion brings. Either you come correct or visit with someone else.

3. Rare need to make alerts. We screen thoroughly, so there’s less chances that a bad apple gets through.

4. You’re in fantasy land from the first to the last minute, even when we’re being ourselves. Everything about us in that moment, our conversations, what we have on, the music in the background, and the ambiance is meant to move you in more than one way.

5. Two hours won’t be enough time. Whomever we are to you, the salacious girlfriend, the cruel mistress, or kinky bombshell, you will never want her to leave.

There are ladies who seek to have a good time, maintain a good reputation, make sure you’re happy, and I’m glad to be one of them.

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Just the way I am…

This quarter holds lots of changes for me. With my recent announcement of impending incall availability, I know that I will have to drastically change my thinking on this industry. More advertising, more availability, new friends, wow. That’s a lot to look forward to. Before this year, I have utilized my mailing list to secure my appointments and friends. And the few adverts I do have allows for my new traffic to flow more organically. My new clients are usually very respectful, and we approach things in a way where having a good time is guaranteed. By the time we’ve discovered shared interests, he’s usually wants to meet for dinner first. I like this way. So why are things changing?

There are just some things that this year is leading up to, and I can’t spill the beans just yet, but I definitely want to let the cat out of the bag that I offer a beyond normal, beyond wonderful experience. My incall is coming along just great. I can’t wait to entertain there.

I have also sought council with some intelligent full time ladies, and just in our conversations, I notice how we differ. Firstly, the concern with reviews. The obsession with the numbers, becoming the top providers in the city. If she got an 9 in performance, she’s striving for a 10 next time. She got an 8 in looks? She’s checking his review history to see what he considers a 10. Oh, and please give somebody a 10, Mr. Reviewer. Because if you don’t you’ve got issues, and she may not see you. Otherwise it’s off to the salon for new extensions and to the gym to work off that pooch.

Financial goals? For this? I never set any. But to hear someone speak of them, I sit and listen to them, it’s all too familiar. ‘Yeah, that sounds like work,’ I tell my new ambitious friend. Because I’ve always been part time, I never looked at it in this manner. ‘But it is work, Tiffani. And you’ve got to be on your shit.’ she says in the most serious tone. ‘There are projections, profit/loss statements, marketing strategies, the cost of your incall, reputation management, customer service, the whole gamut. Just like a real business.’ Holy crappers.

None of who I am will change. I have never over scheduled my time, and I won’t start. Home, family, now school will always take precedence in my life. I see meeting you as a reward for myself, and you. That’s why I’ll always do my best to make our time the best it can be. I have always valued quality over quantity and that will never change. Same day appointments made in the morning for the afternoon, or scheduling at night for the next day will be available to friends who are easily screened.  But I prioritize like a well-oiled machine, and our time together will be  a welcomed treat.

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2012 Updates…

Hello everyone!

The new year has been great, and it holds even greater things for you and me.

First, I’ve started school again, pursuing a second degree. What does that mean, especially with my already hectic schedule? FREEDOM! LOL School is online, and with a major four-year university here in Texas, and being the nerd I am, I’m already done with the first four weeks of homework and assignments. Give me another month, and I’ll be as free as a bird aside from the mandatory online meetings.

Secondly, I’ll be working from home the rest of the year, so no need to be tied down to long work days. I’ll go in for meetings a couple times a week, but other than that, I’m GOOD.

Ok, this is what I’ve been building up to: Starting mid-February, I will be offering incall. YAAAY! Anyone who’s visited with me knows that your comfort is my passion. I’ll be in a beautiful location with wonderful amenities and atmosphere. I’ll be catering to those who have great tastes in food, music, libations, and who truly want to be entertained. High quality sheets, bedding, towels, and playthings will be at your disposal. And yes, I will definitely be moving some of my dungeon furniture out of storage. I can’t wait to entertain you.

1 Hour appointments will be available for gents who can easily be screened via the normal Verification services, and recent verifiable references. If you don’t have references, we can most definitely meet, but it will require a 1.5 hour minimum outcall, or a 2 hour meeting at other accommodations for incall.

Of course I will offer an Incall Incentive. So overall, more availability will mean more advertising, public pictures, and more of the things I enjoy about being a companion: meeting you.

I am THOROUGHLY excited. So now, back to work with me. I hope to see you soon!

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Black coffee, no sugar, no cream…

Black coffee the African queen
Part of the Afro-American dream
Enough respect I’m diggin’ intellect
Appreciate the fact that you never miss a step
The backbone of the black bone here’s to ya
As long as I’m around believe me none could ever do ya
You warm considerate and far from a softie
And that’s why I love ya you’re my black coffee
 

Heavy D died this week. So I went through my iPod looking for his music, and I found this gem. I will be the first to admit that it’s been a long time since there has been positive music about Black women (no, that role-reversing crap about Miss Independent does not count. I’ll share my thoughts about that at another time.). I remember being a young woman and this was the image of Black I wanted to be. In fact all of his music was very inspirational to me as a woman. He had songs that let you know what kind of woman not to be, and songs about the type of women that men treasure. And that Black women CAN be treasured. Who knew?

I remember when his music was popular, and at this time in my life, I was oblivious to the prejudices of this world. I felt (and still do) good about being an intelligent woman of Color. I thought my possibilities were endless if I stayed in school and out of trouble. I tell you, it has held true, and I have had some wonderful experiences. My color has yet to hold me back in my real life.

What I will say is that as a companion, I know that I’m not looked upon favorably by all. If it’s not my color, my build, or my obvious Black girl features, it’s the assumptions and stereotypes that I have successfully avoided that people believe regardless of not knowing me personally. I realize that my client base as a whole will be divided unequally between men who actually love Black women, and those who are curious about Black women. Yes, I welcome the curious. I love disspelling the myths about Black people.

My take on stereotypes is this: there are an equal percentage of ignorant people in every race. Anyone who thought that Blacks were alone in the Stupid Pool obviously haven’t seen the Wild and Wonderful Whites documentary. I can’t look at that documentary or the White people I encountered in the small corner of the earth I crawled out from and think that all of them are that way.

Like I have said, I don’t give much thought to why men don’t see me. All I can do is focus on being the best for those who do choose to see me, and pray that the cycle of ignorance ends soon.

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Why I do what I do how I do it.

The motivation for this post comes from a lot of different sources: twitter, various ho boards, and the news. There is lots of talk about Black women, Black women across the adult industry, poor people, escaping poverty, approaches to the adult industry from the standpoint of Black women, negative stereotypes toward Black women in the adult industry, and equality in sex work. All of these topics kind of run together for me.

I don’t think I’ve failed to mention that I come from very humble beginnings. I seen a lot of what I didn’t want in my life as a kid and was intrigued by the things that were missing (Blame it on the Cosby’s). I was just different from everybody. I’ve made different choices from everybody. Now I’m a healthy, happy 34 year old Black woman with a career, a growing business (a legitimate one), a happy healthy kid I didn’t have in my teens, and great outlets for my sexual and artistic interests.

I guess I’m what you would call the American AND African American dream. I should be a republican right now, but my understanding of the poor makes me feel differently about the ideals of Republicans. (I’m classified as more of a Centerist) I have been so blessed that I don’t mind paying taxes. In fact, it’s one of the things for which I am grateful. I understand the purpose of taxes, but don’t condone their blatant misuse. I would love it if someone was actively changing the public education system, or making sure non-profits designed to help the poor do better and see better things were actually doing their job. I know ladies who live for tax time, as it’s the most money they see at one time all year long.

In so many ways, my thought process is straddled across this fence between where I come from and where I am, hence my approach to being a companion. I’ve been talking to a few ladies from different backgrounds in this industry, and the thought was I should raise my rates, and cater to more “upscale” clientele. I love being available to have and offer the “upscale” experiences I do, and it hasn’t been with the richest or most “upscale” clients, which I think classifying men in this way is a load of baloney. I think men will spend their money on what they want no matter what the cost. I go away twice a month for the weekend, and one of these men has to save up for the experience. The gents I have CHOSEN to spend time with over the course of 6 years have all been respectful, both of my time and my price point, which make them such a pleasure to be around. Most likely I will raise either my hourly minimum or my rates in the future, but it won’t be because I’m trying to exclude any group of people. Being a companion for me is about my comfort level, and those who seek my company. I am NOT trying to have the perceived value discussion so I will stop here.

I know the difference between having high self esteem and being an elitist.  I’ve experienced some of the best things life can offer, and life is pretty good right now for me, but it makes me no better than anyone else. I have a pretty high opinion of myself, but I don’t let that affect how I treat others. I have learned to pick my associates better, and I stay away from negativity no matter what side of the fence it comes from. I have never judged a book by its cover (or the lack thereof), because the beat up ones always make the best read.

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I NEED YOU

I never noticed how society and feminism has sparked a reluctance to the word ‘NEED’.

I was talking to a group of ladies who all have their shit together, some in the industry and some not, and it’s evident that women are capable of so much. We make the money, go to school, raise the kids, stay beautiful, and a lot of us do it by ourselves. For some reason, statistics are leaning more toward women taking on more masculine roles in life. We teach the boys how to properly throw footballs. We’re playing catch in the from yard. We have no choice, since he’s not there. He’s moved on without regard for his children, or their welfare. Don’t worry, bro. I got it. But I digress…

So I’m at a great restaurant with about six  ladies, and we got on the subject of men and relationships. One lady spins out a scenario she’s going through with a guy, and asks what the rest of us thought. Was he using her or is he just really that nice? Then another story about losers we meet in nightclubs, and a couple more about Sugardaddy types and their egos. But the consensus from most ladies was that of “I don’t need a man. I’m an independent woman.”

This sent me home thinking, do I need a man? Yes. We were put on this earth for each other. Well, for those of us who do the ‘man-woman’ thing. No matter in what context we decide, it doesn’t matter if it’s one on one, or in a multi-partner relationship. We NEED each other.

Although I love myself, I NEED you to love me.

I NEED to know and feel your strength.

I NEED your help and comfort.

I NEED to know that you will not take advantage of the fact that I need you.

Oh, and don’t get it twisted. You NEED me too.

There. Was that so hard?

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