Discretion and anonymity

I’m on the board, and the talk has been on screening for the past week.

Now I’ve never had an issue screening a non-hobbyist. Sometimes getting to know him is easier than established reviewers. He’s usually very thorough in reading my site, and sends a detailed email containing all the information I need to be comfortable. When it comes to more experienced men, I treat them accordingly. As long as they have references that I deem reputable and share my need for mutual chemistry, we have no issues. I’ve never put much focus on the larger picture of screening and discretion beyond my own business. I knew that my friends would never have to worry about me being indiscreet, and they knew that screening with me yielded more rewards than risks.

In talking about it with other gents and ladies, no matter where a lady advertises, no matter what men expect to pay for companionship, the consensus is that you never trust your information to a working girl. The consensus for the ladies is screen, screen, screen. That is a conundrum.

A guy asked if a lady asking for check stubs is too much to release, and of course the answer to that question is yes. But these are funny times. Girls are getting busted all over the place. Now even the BP girls are trying to screen (hence the odd requests for information), and it’s so funny how some guys get this snarky attitude about a woman that does business on the low end of things, like she can’t change, or make requests of her patrons. Oh, and don’t get me started on how they treat new women who may or may not be ‘verified’ yet. They have absolutely no right to screen. How does a lady enjoy the pleasures of being companion in the fear and uncertainty of anonymity?

I was still left with this burning questions about the balance of things, and was not given a clear answer. I know the answer, and to the hobbyist who regards himself over the safety of the companion, the solution kicks against all reasoning.


Girls that screen don’t go to jail. That in itself means that the wrong people are not intercepting your correspondence. Anonymity also gets women hurt or even killed. I’ve heard accounts of women jumping from moving vehicles and assaulting men to keep themselves alive. So it stands to reason that any woman who doesn’t screen values money over her future, freedom, and ultimately her life. Clients need to understand what they ultimately want is discretion, not anonymity.


Not every lady screens consistently for safety or chemistry, even the really popular ones. There are ladies who are just untrustworthy. They suffer from personality disorders that lead them to be treacherous, vindictive, and indiscreet. How does a man discern from seductive pictures and a sweet telephone voice that she will out him on public forums or try to blackmail him? It’s hard to do when the wrong head is doing all the thinking.


Most hobbyists will say that they have measures in place to throw a lady off or will give false information in order to lull her into a false sense of security. For the most part, all men have to do is review a girl, and he’s ‘validated’. Actually meeting her is optional. The lady that does the bare minimum for screening is setting herself up for failure. She meets men that she is not compatible with on any level and is not having a good time. This breeds contempt for the men she spends time with, and contempt leads to a lack of respect. I could go on.


The gents are not wrong for wanting to keep their personal information private because there are some women that do NOT have a client’s best interest at heart. I’m getting sick from hearing about the backhanded things that some ladies do to get and keep clients, and it’s not limited to a particular class of lady.

This is a sad state of affairs, people. It makes me highly appreciative of the men that value my life by entrusting me with their information all in the name of friendship and passion for life. I see why some ladies don’t play the hobbyist/reviewer game. Not only is it easily manipulated, but the level of discretion that’s needed for this to be fun is diminished. To quote my good friend Claudia Christophe, discretion and anonymity are not synonyms. Sub rosa guarantees our mutual safety and respect.


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5 responses to “Discretion and anonymity

  1. Love the new layout of the blog! And thank you for the shout-out!

    Oh screening. Always the thorn in everybody’s side, but better a thorn than a knife. You know how impatient I’ve been regarding finding my niche market (I’m working on the patience part!) but despite it all, I’d rather be poor than access a group of clients that do all sorts of sneaky things to endanger me for their momentary pleasure. I was speaking to another Companion about this and that other issue you and I were talking about and this seems to be part of the downside to the mainstreaming of escorting. An influx of inexperienced providers and clients who don’t understand the hows and whys of screening. Quite honestly, it’s setting us all back by a significant margin.

    I totally saw that check stub request on someone’s site! I was like, really? But as long as any identifying bank information, salary information, SS#, and personal address (for me) is blocked out, then I can’t see much difference between that and asking for workplace verification.

    • You know, I never gave much thought to how hobbyists get their start until now. I’ve noticed, just like companions, hobbyists grow. They start on the low end and take baby steps to women who have their heads on straight. You notice how the numbers go up on their reviews since they are having a good time now. But to recommend that a new guy start by playing the guessing game is preposterous.
      Then it’s also said that it’s unethical for a lady to start at certain price points, and her desired salary should only come once a lady pays her dues. But why would you tell a lady to start at a low level when she is high dollar material? That’s why you don’t listen to everybody.
      Honey, your niche market is out there. And there are those willing to be very sweet to you and give you what you need to be comfortable. We’ll talk more in this.
      Eskimo kisses!

      • I would imagine many clients and providers, if they do not already know someone who is a client or provider themselves, will flock to the venues they heard about on the news. Then after a while, they realize that what they heard is only part of the story and, if they so choose, will upgrade.

        I’ve encountered that belief that it is unethical for a lady to start at certain rates. Actually, I was bluntly confronted about that in my former incarnation. I ignored it then as I’m ignoring it now. There are women who start high and go even higher; there are women who start low and then upgrade; there are women who start low and stay there. And unfortunately, some start low and go even lower. 😦 But you’re 100% right; if she is high dollar material, why charge a lower rate? According to that logic, I guess Coco Chanel should have started clothing street urchins before working her way up to the elite even though she started dressing those in the upper-classes, which is where her brand still does to this day; also, then, I suppose Wal-Mart should be a haute couture brand by now?

        As usual, I look forward to our talk. I need to get down your way or you need to get up Chicago or Minneapolis way. We still need our evening of wine and gab!

  2. Vivian Vanderbuilt

    OK darlings I know I’m a bit tardy but i’ll say this much, a provider’s price point has nothing to do with how thorough she screens. I know of women in the 300-400 range high volume girls who are thorough and ones who are 500 and above who see clients with negative marks on their date-check profile.

    • You are so right! I know bodyrub girls that screen clients, and the clients don’t even know they’re being screened!

      As far as negative marks on their profiles, and other reasons why ladies wouldn’t recommend clients, I personally use my own judgment on what I think is acceptable. Some ladies are really petty, and I’ve met some really great clients by investigating the reasons why the negative reference is there to find out it’s honestly ridiculous.

      Great points, Vivian! I really hate to sound like I’m being an elitist when I speak on this topic, but it’s more about the way she handles herself.

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