The few, the Proud II: Definition of Insanity

So I’m reading the Alerts section of certain discussion boards tonight, and I am overcome with amazement. Ladies having to use tasers and guys getting spooked by other men sitting in cars in a 2-star hotel parking lot. It’s mind boggling how often some people come in close quarters with pimps, both recruiting and robbing. If I were a man, and the hobby was that dangerous for me, I’d be faithful or get a girlfriend. You would think that he would look around, and see what it would take to avoid these types of situations. There are choices, you know. But when you’re in a box, all the walls look the same. There is apparently no way out, so these gents do the same thing over and over. But when he meets a drama-free lady who screens,  he figures he can’t give too much identifying information to a hooker because of her pimp, no matter how ‘high class’ she is. So he’s back to the 19-year-olds, 2-star motels, and getting the ‘bad feelings’ about the black guy in the parking lot on 22’s.

I’m really concerned about the ladies just jumping in the industry or at least just starting to use the internet as a medium for business. They post these alerts thinking that everyone works the same way. To them their situation was unavoidable. What else is there to do when a guy she has nothing on but a Tracfone number that called her 30 minutes ago robs her, or alerts the hotel manager of her advertisement? When you ask them did they screen, they throw up verbal middle fingers, or stop posting altogether to avoid the questions. What I want them to know is that when life offers you a chance to learn from your mistakes, take it. The criticism only lasts for a little while, but some things are permanent. Like death, scars and negative background checks.

They always tend to jump on the lady about her not screening when she has a bad time, and chase her away from making alerts. And it doesn’t help that they may not be the most articulate people. But I think that, especially as women we should try to introduce ladies to screening sources that would help them be more safe. You don’t need to do a background check in order to screen well.

But when the guy thinks with the little head instead of the one on his shoulders (sometimes you have to make that distinction), he just bit off a ‘bad apple’. His alerts are filled with apologies and sympathetic pats on the back for attempting to give money to the seedy, drug-addicted hooker and her pimp. He’s just ‘too trusting’. No one reams him out for trying to visit with an unreviewed lady or one who doesn’t screen on short notice. Of all the verified, trustworthy, beautiful women a guy could choose from, he takes a risk on getting robbed, beaten, or not getting what he paid for.

And we’re not going to make this about where a lady decides to advertise, but HOW she advertises. I have never had to make an alert in my entire time as a companion, and have only had great experiences. And it’s all in the way that I handle myself. But not all the fellas are looking for a well put-together woman. Some seek out the desperate. I tell you, the bargain hunter thrill seeker exploitative nature of some men does not help the cycle of negativity that surrounds the adult industry. But neither do the ladies. But something has to have the ability to stop the merry-go-round.

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12 responses to “The few, the Proud II: Definition of Insanity

  1. joeybryantonline

    This post is so inspiring and deals exactly with what I’ve been needing to walk away from.

    I had gotten too involved using backpage and massage sites and playing into the bargain hunter’s games. People would come for a ‘massage’ at a lesser rate but then expect all sorts of shit beyond the massage at the same rate. 1 guy last week came over for a massage, but it ended up turning into a little more. Later that evening he called asking me to join him for dinner and head back to his hotel for 2 hours. Saying, “I’ll give you another $100”. I told him that I can meet him for $200 since he’d already came earlier and paid $100. Of course, he had to “call me back” and never did.

    After being on tour for a week, it hit me. What am I doing? Why am I not getting any calls to my main escort ads? Everyone who calls is calling from a massage or backpage ad. And even backpage wasn’t that great.

    I decided to just pull all non-escort site related ads down. It’s been a tough week since coming back home, since I’d not had a single booking yet. But I’m going to wait it out as long as I need to.

    The solution for stopping the merry-go-round? Do like I am doing. Cut off all other avenues and simply have 1. Eventually they’ll come to. There won’t be any other choices.

    Black (in my field, the male) escorts tend to be the instigators of all this crap. I’m looking at Denver and non of these guys are asking anywhere near $200 which is the going rate for companionship. They all want to do $125 and $150 in/out and $80 specials on backpage. I am the only one asking a decent amount? So what happens is the clients then begin to expect Black guys to charge a certain amount. Why do I get calls asking to meet clients for that amount?

    There’s a guy I have seen out in the bars twice who advertises a $150 in/out rate. I wanted to pull him aside and say, “what makes you think that as the only few Black (exotic, rare, hard to come by) guy advertising in Denver, amongst all these people who are wealthy enough to pay it…that you feel the need to charge only $150?

    And so they continue to do it thinking it’s all they can get or it’s all the man can afford. Yet, I go in and get $700 the first time he meets me. How is that so?

    • Hi Sugarbritches!

      I have a friend who started as an escort, but the phone wasn’t ringing. She started with body rubs instead, and the phone rings off the hook. I don’t think you need to shoot yourself in the foot just yet, since you have no other way to supplement your income that doing massage brings.

      I PROMISE I didn’t want to make this a color issue, because companions of all color are going through the same thing. But as far as Black companions are concerned, there is a quiet, Worldwide semi-consensus that Blacks aren’t worth more than other races. Basically, the light the skin or nationality, the more you can command. Now I’m not saying that all people feel that way, so you want to fine tune your marketing to attract the kind of client that is willing to pay what you ask.

      I will email you with more.

      But the issue you describe goes to the nature of some men, and look to take advantage or get a bargain at every turn.

      • That’s interesting about the lady who went from escorting to massage. I also found that to be the case (I first delved into it while in Dallas…which is very easy to come across there, atleast maybe it was before everyone started capitalizing off of it).

        However, the reason why I’ve decided to sack off massage is because it wasn’t allowing me to be Joey Bryant at home, so I have to re-enter the game as Cory Blaine and make it happen.

        However, there will always be that bargain segment out there, and like you say being this is what’s #1 for me right now…I have to reach out to them. Whether it be thru craigslist, backpage, free sex4now sites, etc.

        It’s risky business though. Trying to market to the variety. I realize clients are more computer savvy than I thought and when I hear from clients who pay THOUSANDS to be with certain escorts, but hiring ‘broke college kids’ on craigslist…it FRIGHTENS me to ever think they’d find out about a $100 1/2 hour special on backpage LOL.

      • What are you doing, working both?

        I like Corey Blaine, but I like Joey Bryant better. Why not just improve on Joey? Change Joey’s entire style…No need to start all over, cause you’re going to be noticed as the same person.

  2. joeybryantonline

    Awww…..I can’t go back! I’ve already started making the changes on the review website.

    This is going to sound silly…but part of the reason I decided to do so is because I felt I had gotten too involved with a certain message board, getting into debates with posters and what not…and long story short, I was being seen as ‘undesirable’ and that ‘clients don’t want to hire a complainer’ and ‘you only met 1 client on here because you bitch yadda yadda. But thing is I don’t really bitch, they interpret it as so.

    So, I was feeling paranoid that perhaps clients were ‘WATCHING ME’ on these forums and perhaps affecting me in some way. Although, when I travel…I am always busy and make it decent. But at home, dead, dead, dead…but maybe it’s from that massage site too?

    I wasn’t trying to not be noticed by people, but now I feel a bit silly. I mean, a name change isn’t THAT bad is it? If I switch back to Joey…won’t that be even MORE suspicious?

    • But you do bitch, Joey!

      You bitching now…Own up to and STOP it. Make an honest effort to improve who you are. Let them know that you plan to change, because the name may change, but if you stay the same Corey will suffer the same fate. When you post, you have to learn to be objective, and don’t expect for readers to feel sorry for you and see you. Just let them know that you’re a good companion and it has no bearing on your performance and to give you a chance.

      I’m going to call you…

  3. joeybryantonline

    I’m sorry I’m hogging up this particular post, it just struck such a chord!…but perhaps some escort or escortess may learn something LOL.

    After your comment, I decided to switch back to Joey Bryant. Further more, I checked another website relating to business name changes: http://www.microsoft.com/business/en-us/resources/marketing/advertising-branding/change-your-business-name-7-issues.aspx?fbid=F1w43DhP_Vj

    The good news, it’s been less than 5 days since Cory hit the market. So, I don’t think everyone noticed yet. Also, I had an ad with all my 7 written reviews in LA and another state. That remained static and I switched over my other ads. A client (who is planning an adventure this month) even asked me, “are you also known as Cory Blaine. Funny thing is, my ad was in a different state and he must have checked the Denver ads too!

    I think what it is, sometimes I’m so eager to just get away from it all…just ignore all the online crap, and just change my name as a way to flush the shit and start fresh. But what I need to do is continue to develop my real-life social circle and step away from message boards and advertisements…and maybe even take a break (which I sorely need after these 4 years) from advertising and just get away from it all. I’m crying out for it, and it came in the form of a name-change…which didn’t quite satisfy it.

    • Don’t be sorry, darling. It’s all about knowing better and doing better. Everyone makes mistakes, but can you turn them around? Just consider everything you said out of your mouth, that you release from your fingertips as marketing and meant to accentuate the person you want your clients to meet. Don’t give up, and disable your board accounts. Just post better. As a matter of fact, go public. Anyone you had ‘beef’ with on the boards, apologize. There’s a way to say what you feel and a time to NOT say anything. Send me the link to the board you post on….

  4. I am so very glad that you wrote this post! I used to be involved in sex worker rights’ activist circles and some activists seem to roundly object to the idea that a sex worker’s bad luck could be of her own doing. As though that would undermine the movement or its goals or something. Please. Some people are just…a hot mess.

    I’ve read those alert sections as well and I am thinking, “Get your **** together!” I get the feeling that a lot of those providers have equally dramatic non-professional ‘romantic’ lives. Some people are just lazy and or stupid and think short-cuts and half-assed work leads to success. No, no it doesn’t. It never will. Others are drawn to the drama and thrive on being drama queens/victims. Ridiculous.

    • I so agree, Claudia.

      And for every dramatic companion, there are droves of dramatic clients, waiting to be the next ‘I trusted a prossie’ sob story. As far as the sex worker circles, they have yet to find a way to mask the fact that MOST people get into this industry the wrong way, and it is usually not an informed decision. The adult industry mirrors real life, and the crap you bring from your real life you will also find in the adult industry.

      Very good points, Claudia. Thanks for your invaluable input!

      ~Tiffani

    • joeybryantonline

      I have to disagree with ‘some’ of what you said Claudia. But only slightly because your post did speak to the former me: often times ending up in dramatic (sometimes risky) situations with clients.

      However, it wasn’t that I was taking short-cuts or half-assing. Now, I don’t know the specifics of the stories mentioned on these alert sections. However, in my experience I think some people can be a bit OVER trusting, or they don’t listen to their intuitions. Or they advertise on sites KNOWN to attract certain types of clients or providers (backpage is the current culprit). Or they accept late night calls at all hours. Not because they are necesarily stupid…but simply too accomodating.

      Speaking relatively here. Also, rates play a part as well. Some people let clients talk them down and negotiate, which isn’t ALWAYS a bad thing, but when you’re talking clients who just seem unwilling to compromise, one bad thing tends to lead to another. Next thing you know…you’re not getting paid. Or he’s a creep.

      What it takes is a FIRM attitude and AGGRESSIVE marking tactics and to show who is in control. Kind of like an attorney 🙂

      • You are very right Joey.

        I wish we all had the wherewithal to be strong. It’s easy for people to be available to people that mirror them. Dramatic companions ATTRACT dramatic clients. Some ladies are not all destined to be HDH no matter how amazing their bodies look. But there’s a market for everyone. You just have to find yours. Your attitude should be one above the pettiness. This is not keeping up with the Joneses. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your rates or your level of service. If you’ve got to take that late night call (that’s easily verifiable, of course) take it. It’s up to you to put food on your table. Feel good about working the way you do. But there has to be a reason for the rhyme. Every move you make should be FIRM and AGGRESSIVE marketing.

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