Heavy D died this week. So I went through my iPod looking for his music, and I found this gem. I will be the first to admit that it’s been a long time since there has been positive music about Black women (no, that role-reversing crap about Miss Independent does not count. I’ll share my thoughts about that at another time.). I remember being a young woman and this was the image of Black I wanted to be. In fact all of his music was very inspirational to me as a woman. He had songs that let you know what kind of woman not to be, and songs about the type of women that men treasure. And that Black women CAN be treasured. Who knew?
I remember when his music was popular, and at this time in my life, I was oblivious to the prejudices of this world. I felt (and still do) good about being an intelligent woman of Color. I thought my possibilities were endless if I stayed in school and out of trouble. I tell you, it has held true, and I have had some wonderful experiences. My color has yet to hold me back in my real life.
What I will say is that as a companion, I know that I’m not looked upon favorably by all. If it’s not my color, my build, or my obvious Black girl features, it’s the assumptions and stereotypes that I have successfully avoided that people believe regardless of not knowing me personally. I realize that my client base as a whole will be divided unequally between men who actually love Black women, and those who are curious about Black women. Yes, I welcome the curious. I love disspelling the myths about Black people.
My take on stereotypes is this: there are an equal percentage of ignorant people in every race. Anyone who thought that Blacks were alone in the Stupid Pool obviously haven’t seen the Wild and Wonderful Whites documentary. I can’t look at that documentary or the White people I encountered in the small corner of the earth I crawled out from and think that all of them are that way.
Like I have said, I don’t give much thought to why men don’t see me. All I can do is focus on being the best for those who do choose to see me, and pray that the cycle of ignorance ends soon.
Black coffee, no sugar, no cream…
Black coffee the African queen
Part of the Afro-American dream
Enough respect I’m diggin’ intellect
Appreciate the fact that you never miss a step
The backbone of the black bone here’s to ya
As long as I’m around believe me none could ever do ya
You warm considerate and far from a softie
And that’s why I love ya you’re my black coffee
Filed under Courtesan in bloom, Random Thoughts
companionandconcierge.wordpress.com 
LOL, my (White) BF was just making coffee the other day; and he added how he likes his roast “strong and Black” like his men. I didn’t expect that from him, but then again I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised.
I totally understand though what you mean re: paragraph 3.
I think there are men out there who like or at the least are open to seeing a person of color. However, it almost makes me cringe (and kind of happy) when I meet a client and he says he called another guy FIRST but the guy flaked. THEN he called me. And living in Denver, I don’t even have to ask if the guy was White or Black.
It’s like, why did you choose me 2nd? I don’t like feeling like the backup guy. The part that makes me happy is I often get a surprising tip for coming thru with flying colors. Literally.
I do think we (White&Black) are further along for the most part. But when I read message boards and see that the only men being reviewed and raved over are White escorts, sometimes I feel we’ve relapsed right back to White supremacy favortism. Then someone comes along and shows me otherwise 🙂
I don’t worry about who he called first. He’s here, and he’s in for the ride of his life.
As far as getting reviewed, I do believe that some guys keep their chocolate hidden. As I don’t put a lot of stress on reviews, I really appreciate the patronage.
Dear Tiffany,
Yes, sadly, stupidity knows no color, religion, or creed boundries. Intelligence will shine through regardless of skin tone.
So true, SR. So true.
Interesting comments and views. I have preferences no matter what the color/race, and one of my ATF is a gal who is slim, so very passionate, a college coed . . who happens to be black. The whole contrast (ebony/ivory) thing never came to mind until she whispered a sensual comment to me in the middle of our afternoon fun. I will admit that i have met some very sexy gals of various ethnicities, and to those who were genuine . . great memories (I dislike ‘fakes’).
New blog reader . . Thanx.
Yes, it is a strikingly beautiful contrast. I agree, disingenuous people are tiring no matter their race. Thank you for your readership, darling!
~Tiffani
I know this post is a few years old but I felt compelled to respond. A few months ago I was browsing a board and someone started a thread as to why there were very few black women working with agencies. There were several theories from many posters but the one that stuck out to me was one from an agency owner. She said that her agency doesn’t hire black women because they are difficult to work with. Their “attitude” causes problems with her clients and it’s just easier not to deal with them. She also stated that there wasn’t a demand for them. It took a lot from me not to respond to her stereotype of black women. You’d think as a business owner that she’d conduct herself in a professional manner rather than be blatantly ignorant.
I understand how you feel, but you have to understand certain facts before you judge her. Every race has it’s Talented 10%, and it’s very rare enough that many women in her prime for escorting (ages 18 to 28) has the beatitudes to be a quality companion other than being physically attractive. Take into consideration that a fewer percent of the Black women who get into this are educated, can relate to situations outside of our class, or in control of their emotions enough to be kind on a NORMAL basis I totally understand why they don’t hire all Black girls.
I’ve found that even in my friendships with Black women, there are very few that I would consider well-rounded. Even women in MY age group. I have been lucky to have met a few intelligent, well-rounded, self-assessing Black Companions, so I know they are few and far between. I’ve learned that making money or the ability to make money (especially in this industry) doesn’t give a lady class or a brain. So be careful of those with whom you associate yourself.
Thank you for your readership, Jhena!
Another great blog! Before commenting on the agency owner’s comment in Jhena’s note, let me preface by informing everyone I’m an intelligent, middle-aged, Caucasian male. So I’ll apologize upfront if I have some things incorrect. To me, “difficult to work with”, “attitude”, etc. are slang for she doesn’t give the clients a first time freebie taste-run, or she doesn’t want to dress/act like those music video babes, or __ __ __ … (you fill in the blanks). Anytime black men & woman don’t tote the Caucasian’s view of how THEY think blacks should act, then blacks get called in on it.
During a recent job interview, a black male co-worker was told: “Wow. You talk normal.” Sadly, Jim Crow is alive and well in America, don’t kid yourself. Just ask poor, poor, good ‘ol Paula Deen.